Shalom!

http://jenshinrai.blogspot.com

2009-12-28T21:14:00.005+08:00

I am 5 years, 2 months and 12 days old here in Blogger. This is my first blog account. I may not remember any poignant memories with this blog, but it is important to me. I just can't leave this behind, but I've been thinking about that lately.

Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do,
forgetting those things which are behind
and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,
~Philippians 3:13

Now I wonder. Should I keep posting here, or should I make this or one last entry before I stop updating http://www.jenshinrai.blogspot.com?

I must decide soon, before the week and month and year end.

Music:
Shania Twain - C'est La Vie

Dance. Dance. Dance.

2009-12-21T22:56:00.002+08:00

I'm thirsty and sleepy. I kind of want to see someone I know who's good in dancing and humour and intelligence rolled into one. Whatever intelligence he excels besides what he's trying to excel, I don't know.

From House to NSYNC to Presidential Debate

2009-12-03T12:50:00.003+08:00

I've got a lot of things in mind to write, but I just don't have the "drive" to do so. As of now, I am downloading House, M.D. season 6 episode I don't know while listening to random NSYNC songs. I'm not a fan of the band; I just thought I'd listen to them.

Seems like the best thing to do while waiting for the House episode is to unload some thoughts in this blog. I want to write about the society, environment, people, politics, the Philippines, health, and anything with gravity. Write what may.

5 more months and it'll be the national elections in my beloved country. I watched a debate yester night. 7 presidential candidates were gathered in UST to answer people's questions and inquiries. There were only 3 people who impressed me: Dick Gordon, Gibo Teodoro, and Noynoy Aquino.

I did like what Councilour Eyeglasses said when asked what would be the first thing he'll do if voted to power. He said he will come before the Lord and seek His help. I'd do the same. But the rest of his answers didn't impress me.

Manny Villar didn't come because of a "very important business meeting." Seriously? There's something more important than letting your people know you and your platform? Thank heavens Joseph Estrada was there. Erap was really funny and amusing; he'd made you wish he was your grandfather. I miss watching that debate with him on the spotlight.

The House episode that I am loading is almost done so I should wrap this. Wrap? I just wrote random things.

Music:
NSYNC - Bye, bye, bye

Room C

2009-11-29T23:19:00.003+08:00

I was a little envious of our patients in Orthopaedic Ward in VLGH. We actually just had one patient, but my partner and me found ourselves looking after our patient's roomie. Our patient was 12 y/o girl while her roomie was a 10 y/o male. Both had their fathers beside them, looking after them. The boy had his mother too.

It was a nice sight for me seeing the fathers looking after their respective children. Such was a rare sight as we all know that most parent staying beside a child is his mother.

Shameless plugging: The V. Luna GH Stay

Music:
The Cranberries - Disappointment

Nouvelle Lune

2009-11-21T20:05:00.004+08:00

After 5 minutes on my seat yester noon, I knew I wouldn't be able to make a review about the movie. Instead of one being woven in my head, I had recollections of what it was like knowing the story a year ago. The same emotions were coming back as if I was holding the book in my hands while getting inside the head of the person whose name reminds me of the fraternité.

Perhaps it was the reason I had second thoughts about reading the novel again. I've read the first book twice. Somewhere in my head, kept hidden by my subconscious, was the knowledge that doing so will trigger sentiments that will turn on my coping mechanism. I am not being emo here for I am definitely not one.

Emotional emotions are something I hardly relate to. Another reason why I am so fond of the saga. "Empathy is a gift," Chin Chin Gutierrez said in an interview, but she didn't mention that it comes with a price. And it's not something you can delay to pay.

When I read the book, I was quick to understand the human, the leech, and the shape-shifter. Besides the entertainment brought by fiction, I was able to understand some things and see some situations better and clearer than before. I was relieved.

Music:
Editors - No Sound but the Wind

New York Yankees, 2009 World Series Champions

2009-11-07T08:40:00.013+08:00

I wrote nothing about World Series Game 6, the last one before the Yankees gathered together in celebration for their 27th World Series title. It was awesome!

I am so thankful and grateful to God for the answered prayer. It was really amazing.

I found some interesting pictures from this blog, so I should definitely give credit because I am going to post the pictures. Without permission.

I miss Michael Kay! I wonder why he was not one of the commentators during the World Series.

I also wonder if Mariano Rivera closed the parade. Haha! Btw, my favourite picture is that of Joba taking pictures of the people.

Buddies Brian Bruney and Phil Hughes in Club 1Oak.

Aren't these outfielders fun to watch? They're even taking their posts, left and right, respectively.

Hideki Matsui, 2009 MVP
Omedetoo, Hideki-san!

YOGI BERRAAAAAAAAAA!!!

I am a Yogi Berra fan, but it's not because of Baseball. Not yet. I adore his Yogiism. :D

Pictures were taken from here.

Old Guard pitchers advance the Yankees back to World Series.

2009-10-28T20:35:00.006+08:00

After being suspended on Saturday night because of hefty rain, Game 6 was finally pushed through on Sunday night in the Bronx, New York.

The Yankees may have lost Game 3 of the series with Pettitte as their starter, but Dandy Andy presented himself in the mound in Game 6 with confidence and results that speak of his possible legend.

The 36-year old pitcher only allowed one walk, of which Howie Kendrick was the recipient. It was after Vladimir Guerrero hit an RBI, which he grounded off first in the second inning. Guerrero's move was considered to be a wrong move; obviously.

The Angels have committed a lot of mistakes during the series, some of which were not even part of their accumulated 8 error record in the ALCS. Some of those errors even helped the Yankees reach homeplate.

One easy and unwonted out happened during the sixth inning. Chone Figgins, after bunting Pettitte's 89 MPH fastball, grounded out to catcher Jorge Posada. He was out for tagging himself as he ran to first base. His left foot touched the ball.

In the same sixth inning, the Angels might've had a run when Vladimir Guerrero's double RBI advanced Torii Hunter to third base. The centre fielder's speed has been a concern to the Bombers. With two out, Mr. Iron Gaze saved the inning when Kendrick Morales hit the ball back to him for the third out.

With long time teammate Jorge Posada catching behind the plate, the left-handed pitcher struck out six Angels in 6.1 innings before Manager Joe Torre climbed to the hill. The man in the mound knew what was coming.

Pettitte may have wanted to stay longer, a lot of the fans wanted too, but he yielded to his former teammate's call and left his throne with 99 pitches and a 2.84 ERA.

The post-season veteran pitcher allowed seven hits and only had one run. The Yankee fans gave Pettitte a standing ovation while the Old Guard starting pitcher tipped his cap in recognition of the fans as he retired to the dugout.

Joba relieved for him, pitching against two Halos. He grounded out both to end the top of the seventh inning, but that was all for him. Joe Girardi already had plans for the eight and ninth inning.

The Sandman left the Yankee bullpen radiating assurance to the Yankees and at the same time threat to the Angels. "I knew I was going to be there for at least two," said Rivera who was called in the top of the eight.

Mariano Rivera is one of those pitchers you don't want to face when you're in the batter's box.

"Man, I don't even want to talk about Mariano Rivera right now," Torii Hunter said. "You don't want to face him. I don't plan on getting to him. If we do, the game is probably in the bag."

Chone Figgins was fortunate to hit an RBI on one ball - one strike count against Mariano Rivera. He was not the only blessed Angel of the night. With two outs, Figgins scored on Vladimir Guerrero's RBI giving the Angels their second and last run. It was the first post-season run given up by Mariano Rivera at home since Game 2 of the 2000 World Series against the Mets.

In the top of the ninth inning with two out, and just one more for the final one, Gary Matthews Jr. was pinch hitting for catcher Mike Napoli. It was an offensive move but obviously didn't work. Matthews, Jr. struckout swinging for the final out of the series. The pitch was not even a cutter.

Mariano Rivera secured the World Series ticket his Old Guard buddy Andy Pettitte clutched for the Yankees.

The Bombers earned three runs in the fourth inning from Robinson Cano and Nick Swisher on Johnny Damon's RBI and from Derek Jeter who had to step on homeplate to give way for A-Rod who was walked with bases loaded.

They had another runs in the eight inning from Robinson Cano on Melky Cabrera's sacrifice bunt, which he earned as double on throwing error by Scott Kazmir, and from Brett Gardner on Mark Teixeira's sacrifice fly to centre field.

The New York Yankees defeated the Los Angeles Angels on 5-2 in Game 6 of the American League Championship Series. The Bronx Bombers will represent the American League in the World Series to face the defending champions Philadelphia Phillies of the National League on Wednesday night in Yankee Stadium.

Also posted in MLBlog and Bleacher Report.

Justice.

2009-10-15T20:31:00.005+08:00

Character encompasses time.

I wonder if someone else had already said that, but that just came to me after reading some articles about someone who died years ago. I've never met the man. I don't even know what he looked like. But it doesn't matter. What does is his legacy.

I believe I will not forget his name. I will not mention it here, though. Only God knows that I am a follower of this man. Perhaps someone else will be able to figure it out, but it won't matter.

A friend of mine once told me in high school that I am very patient, that I don't get angry. But other people think I am a choleric person. Ironic? Everyone is entitled to their opinion. That's how they saw me, and I care not.

In defense of my friend who thinks of me as very patient, I'd say she was right. I still am. She just saw me that way because she is a just person. Whenever I am around her, or when we are together, justice is always sought. As a result, I am at peace. For the one thing that is quick to move me into eruption of anger is injustice.

Justice and injustice are my choice of words, but both may sound so serious. Sometimes, I'm just talking about (simple) fairness and unfairness. So there it goes, but I'd still use the more serious sounding words. Because I hate anything unfair.

For those who thought of me as very choleric, they were also right. And I still am. Perhaps it was simply because they tolerate injustice, or unjust themselves. Tolerance of evil also makes me go berserk, especially if it is done by those who abuse their positions. There are many forms of injustice, or unfairness, but they all upset me.

Though I am very upset, I am silent most of the time. At least I try to. I first restore my logical sense then think of how should I react properly.

There are times that I myself become unjust by simply tolerating some bad deeds, even just by laughing some (bad) things off. I am not happy for having done so. As a resolution, I try my best to be conscious on how I react about some things.

More than what the law or moral standards state, I make sure that the justice I am upholding roots from God, from His holy Word.

I've been trying to find out where and when my sense of justice began its roots but I still couldn't find the answer. As for now, I thank God for the gift. Knowledge of justice and exercising them, with or without audience, are gifts from the Lord. At the end of the day, and when the day comes should I leave this earth, I will be accountable to God.

I may not be part of the judicial system of my country, but I belong to the health care system. A lot of injustice happen in this almost forgotten system so I pray to God that albeit the deficiencies of the system, I will not use them as excuse to be unjust.

As a nurse, I am a patient's advocate, of his rights and of his health. I will do my best to live by the principles of the title I hold and keep the integrity of the justice I believe in.

Justice must be served. I always think of it, even when I ride a jeepney because a lot of the usual spots where commuters load and unload are posted with "No Loading and Unloading," which is annoying. But still, I have to obey simple rules.

May the Lord bless everyone who loves justice.

Music:
U2 - Summer Rain

Faith

2009-10-10T05:36:00.003+08:00

I found this here.

Long for a hair cut..

2009-10-09T04:54:00.002+08:00

I want to cut my hair, not just for an inch or two but more. I feel like having a short hair, like that of Natalie Imbruglia in her Wishing I Was There music video.

Music:
Paramore - CrushCrushCrush

Oktubre..

2009-10-07T07:28:00.002+08:00

My friend and me are planning to make a "community" blog where we can post our thoughts, insights, and the like, about our community, country, the world, and any issues that we are concern about. Yes, that includes sports and food. The problem is the blog host. I am not sure which one is the best place to have one. I've just started thinking for one, though.

I am trying to reckon Blogspot because it is a common place where intellectual writers write. It'd be easy for us to post comments to other peoples' blogs and/or articles, and vice versa. I'll ask my friend about this. I hope it'll be done soon. I've already written an "article" but it still needs editing. I am not even sure what title should I give it.

On the other hand, I am still not sure whether I'd go back to ALS and help them. Seriously, I feel embarrassed being there for days. I do want to help, though. That's all I want to do. I want to help the victims, in any way I could, and I also want to help those who volunteers, because classes are back and they'll be busy.

Oh God, please help me. You know, Lord, what I ask.

Music:
The Corrs - Only When I Sleep

PS:
I had a dream about someone and we had a conversation about what had happened and what our state it. Funny how it has to be in my dream. But still, I want to thank God for it.

Hoping..

2009-08-27T10:16:00.005+08:00

Before I get the risk of forgetting my password.. It's been a month since my last post.

Days are passing by and I am still waiting. And I will still wait until I finally live the day to see my dream. May it be so. Soon, hopefully.

I still wait. I still hope. I want to have something I might need.. Please, LORD.

Onitsuka Chihiro - Castle Imitation (instrumental)

I miss my brothers and sisters.

2009-07-13T10:45:00.004+08:00

I miss my brothers and sisters. But I'm not just referring to my biological siblings. Family to me is not limited to blood, nor is it limited by law.

I want to see them again, especially my SERG family. It's been more than 7 months since I saw them.

Music:
Sixpence Non the Richer - There She Goes

MLBYankees (of Twitter) linked my Bleacher Report article.

2009-07-02T15:00:00.005+08:00

I've been a member and contributor of Bleacher Report for less than a week. To know that there are people reading your works makes you feel good. It makes you feel appreciated. Just a while ago, I saw MLBYankees, in Twitter, posting a link about what I just wrote today. It was as if I hit a triple RBI! Losh.

By the way, my postin b/r is linked here: The Arcane Eight Inning Decision of Joe Girardi

Another screen shot.. I think I could do free-hand well if I took BS Architecture. Haha!

After one hour..

Music:
Metallica - Mama Said

Must Organize Blogsites Soon

2009-06-28T05:43:00.003+08:00

It was yesterday when I fully grasped and felt compelled the need to organize my bogs. I have at least four blogsites. There are some that have specific purposes so I don't have to worry about them.

Too bad for me, someone who thinks a lot, I have to really organize my blogs entries and choose the right one for a particular entry. I sometimes post an entry in most blogs of mine if I feel I have to share an entry to everyone.

My favourite blogsite is in BlogSpirit.com where I post most of my thoughts, including private ones. It's an open blogsite unlike LiveJournal and Multiply. While writing these words, my brain is already trying to find ways how to fix things.

I hope I'd be able to work on this today.

Music: Letters to Cleo - Mellie's Comin' Over

Saturday Afternoon Game

2009-06-22T20:34:00.003+08:00

I was in the Rizal Memorial Baseball Stadium last Saturday afternoon watching the game between Batangas Bulls and Cebu Dolphins. I was excited because it was my first time to witness a Baseball game in the Philippines. I felt like a child in anticipation.

Before I left home to watch, I have mentioned the plan to my cousin. He warned me that I might get disappointed because I’m used to watching major leagues on ESPN with professional ballplayers. I have thought the same, but I have already prepared myself. I have set my mind that I must not compare the Filipino ballplayers with those in the MLB.

I’d say I was able to sustain the mind set, but I wasn’t able to stop myself from remembering my favourite team and players. Every pinch, every hit and every catch I saw in the field made me long to see my favourite ballplayers playing again.

I’ve missed the recent games of my favourite team because ESPN Asia wasn’t covering MLB games. Thank goodness there was an MLB Gameday.

It was fun watching the game between the Batangas Bulls and Cebu Dolphins. I was even pleased to see some drama during the game, but I won’t go into details.

Related post: Saturday Game: Batangas Bulls vs. Cebu Dolphins

Saturday Baseball

2009-06-21T00:47:00.001+08:00

20 June 2009. I've been looking forward to this day because of three Baseball events. First, the NY Yankees are flying to Florida to for their interleague series. Second, Baseball Philippines is hosting a series of its own. The morning match is between the Alabang Tigers and Manila Sharks while in the afternoon it's between Batangas Bulls and Cebu Dolphins.

I wanted to watch all these games. But, like what the Rolling Stones said, "You can't always get what you want." Mr. Joe Girardi was right, anything can happen in Baseball.

I woke up early to watch the live coverage of New York Yankees vs. Florida Marlins on ESPN, but I wasn't able to do so. Of all the days in the week, our cable operator chose Saturday to fix or work on something in our village. And of all the times in the day, they chose the time I've been waiting to watch the Yankees live on TV again. Thanks to MLB.com, I was able to have live updates of the game. But I always prefer the chance to see the actions and drama live.

The Yankees vs. Marlins game was set in the morning and albeit having no chance to watch the game live, I stayed in front of the computer. That meant no extra audience for the Sharks vs. Tigers, but I did come to the Rizal Memorial Baseball Stadium in the afternoon to watch the Bulls vs. Dolphins. I was just in time for the match.

It was an exciting experience for me being in the ballpark. It was the first time I've been to one. I was also reminded, every now and then, that two of the legends of the New York Yankees, Lou Gehrig and Babe Ruth, hit home run in the Rizal Memorial Baseball Stadium. They were actually the first and second ballplayers, respectively, to hit home run in the stadium. How I wish the Yankees will be in the same ballpark and play. I can already imagine the pinstripes batting and pitching. I'd love to see that day!

Music:
Ana Tsuchiya - Kuroi Namida

Another Set..

2009-06-11T06:52:00.001+08:00

Your result for The Personality Defect Test...

Robot

You are 57% Rational, 43% Extroverted, 43% Brutal, and 14% Arrogant.

You are the Robot! You are characterized by your rationality. In fact, this is really ALL you are characterized by. Like a cold, heartless machine, you are so logical and unemotional that you scarcely seem human. For instance, you are very humble and don't bother thinking of your own interests, you are very gentle and lack emotion, and you are also very introverted and introspective. You may have noticed that these traits are just as applicable to your laptop as they are to a human being. You are not like the robots they show in the movies. Movie robots are make-believe, because they always get all personable and likeable after being struck by lightning, or they are cold, cruel killing machines. In all reality, though, you are much more boring than all that. Real robots just sit there, doing their stupid jobs, and doing little else. If you get struck by lightning, you won't develop a winning personality and heart of gold. (Robots don't have hearts, silly, and if they did, they would probably be made of steel, not gold.) You also won't be likely to terrorize humanity by becoming an ultra-violent killing machine sent into the past to kill the mother of a child who will lead a rebellion against machines, because that movie was dumb as hell, and because real robots don't kill--they horribly maim at best, and they don't even do that on purpose. Real robots are boringly kind and all too rarely try to kill people. In all my years, my laptop has only attacked me once, and that was only because my brother threw it at me. In short, your personality defect is that you don't really HAVE a personality. You are one of those annoying, super-logical people that never gets upset or flustered. Unless, of course, you short circuit. Or if someone throws a pie at you. Pies sure are delicious.

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.

2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more HUMBLE than arrogant.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Class Clown.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hand-Raiser, the Emo Kid, and the Haughty Intellectual.

If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

The other personality types:

The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

Be sure to take my Sublime Philosophical Crap Test if you are interested in taking a slightly more intellectual test that has just as many insane ramblings as this one does!

About Saint_Gasoline

I am a self-proclaimed pseudo-intellectual who loves dashes. I enjoy science, philosophy, and fart jokes and water balloons, not necessarily in that order. I spend 95% of my time online, and the other 5% of my time in the bathroom, longing to get back on the computer. If, God forbid, you somehow find me amusing instead of crass and annoying, be sure to check out my blog and my webcomic at SaintGasoline.com.

Take The Personality Defect Test at HelloQuizzy

I may be logical but that doesn't mean I lack emotions. But I can hide them.

Your result for The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test...

The Harlequin

You scored 45% Cardinal, 44% Monk, 50% Lady, and 41% Knight!

You are a mystery, a jack-of-all-trades. You have the king's ear, but also listen to murmurings of the common folk. You believe in the value of force and also literature. Truly you are the puzzlement of the age.

Take The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test at HelloQuizzy

The Ice Queen

2009-06-11T06:24:00.000+08:00

Your result for The Social Persona Test (Version 2.5)...

The Ice Queen (NLAF)

Normal Liberal Alpha Female

Okay, let's face it. Some people wonder why water doesn't make you melt. However, alpha females are so rare that a little witchy-ness is worth it. You likely have strongly held convictions and care about society, politics, and the world at large, which only increases your attractiveness. Like everyone must do, just keep in mind that you may not have all the answers. And for crying out loud, don't take everything so darn seriously. Despite a difference in interests, The Lord of the Misfits is best for you, as you would never be able to put up with the Frat Boy (NLAM).

You are more NORMAL than QUIRKY.

You are more LIBERAL than TRADITIONAL.

You are more DOMINANT than PASSIVE.

When picking a date, consider: The Lord of the Misfits (QLAM)

(Image from Narnia wiki)

Take The Social Persona Test (Version 2.5) at HelloQuizzy

ORLY?

Music: Lenny Kravitz - American Woman

Post-NLE in Blogger

2009-06-08T11:38:00.003+08:00

Gosh, it's been weeks since I made an entry here. Had a quite busy and stressful month. I really don't know what to say. All I have in my mind right now is to update this blog. What should I write? I wonder.

Maybe when I have my mind cleared from the NLE's aftermath concerns I'll be able to post something more sensible here. While I wait for that, I'll just hang around in Twitter and Plurk.

Music:
The Mitch Hansen Band - No. 3

Not Online during VBS 2009

2009-04-23T18:16:00.002+08:00

I haven't been online for days because I'm busy with VBS. Our internet connection was, and still, not ok. I haven't even watched the seventeenth episode of Prison Break. Huhuhu...

Is there a simple explanation to suicide?

2009-04-16T22:40:00.003+08:00

I'd say I'm quite bombarded with the idea about of suicide. Not that I am planning to commit one. I have no reason to. My life is not mine. But last week, depression was mentioned in a way that did affect me. Tonight, I heard about what happened to a news anchor's wife. I've also just finished watching House season 5 episode 20: Simple Explanation. In this episode, Lawrence Kutner committed suicide. Kal Penn accepted a job at the White House. Simple Explanation. :D

Music: Massive Attack - Teardrop

Sarah Wayne Callies pics..

2009-04-02T12:25:00.006+08:00

I found this pics while doing random search about Prison Break, especially actress Sarah Wayne Callies. I just thought I'd post them here.

I am not sure if the child in solo is Keala, Sarah's child.

The picture on the right is Sarah while still pregnant. Pretty as ever. I like her hair.

Sara Tancredi packrat

2009-03-27T11:55:00.006+08:00

I'm quite a packrat when it comes to icons. *blank faced* I'm still vexed with our internet connection. It's getting worse. Oh well, I guess I'd just post something here. These icons remind me of what bothers me lately. Actually, there are a lot of them bothering me. It's quite a vortex situation.

Shits Happen

2009-03-25T16:26:00.004+08:00

I've been downloading the same thing for the third time because our internet connection sucks. It was stressful. I hate slow internet connections; make me feel like annihilating the computer.I wanted to watch a Prison Break episode today but to no avail. Seems like I'll just have to wait for tomorrow. My cousin wants to use this crappy internet.

And the weather.. ugh! I hate global warming. It's so evil.

Thank God for KR's music: Thesis Crisis. At least there's something that amuses me. But I feel sick. I don't want to see anyone right now, unless he/she is one of my SERG family.

Marching towards April

2009-03-23T18:14:00.006+08:00

March is just about to end but it feels like I'm going to have a quite busy April. FBMO in Malolos, Bulacan, VBS, NLE-related stuff, catching up for Prison Break season 4, Heroes, NCIS, The Mentalist, and those I want to watch. Nyaha! Of course, there are also books to read.

As of now, I am thinking of a good and valid reason to tell my godparents so I can decline a particular activity this summer. How I wish that's easy. But I guess, which I am actually certain of, I should consult my Father.

I need to quote Michael Scofield:

I choose to have faith. Because without that, I have nothing. It's the only thing that's keeping me going.

Cook and Bake..

2009-03-18T14:01:00.002+08:00

I'd love to make some food. Too bad, the kitchen is having ingredient scarcity. The other problem is I can only perform stove top dishes. I don't even know how to cook regular meals. I only cook for myself. I am not selfish. I'm just not sure if people will like what I make. I usually invent.

I want to learn how to bake, most especially how to operate an oven. We have anoven but no one has used it so I don't know if it's just lethargic or already in coma.

As for now, I'd stick to what I can handle. Too bad there's nothing to toss into the pan.

Damn Insomnia! Damn Dyspnea!

2009-02-15T04:06:00.004+08:00

I was able to drift away from consciousness hours earlier but I've never been failed to be disturbed. That happened at least twice. But right now, I can't effing sleep. Oh. I am also having DOB. How blooming. Makes it easier for me to stay awake.

For the love of Earth, I want to sleep! I need to rest.

I bothered to go online because I need to vent this out. I was thinking of telling someone about my condition, but there is only one friend I could think of. I can't tell anyone else but that friend of mine. Too bad, I can't do that. I don't want to bother that friend of mine. I am my own burden. None of anyone else's business.

I'm not trying to sound emo or what. I am just verbalizing, saying things as a matter of fact.

Music: Paramore - Decode
Mood: Upset

Triple A? Fie!

2009-02-14T10:43:00.002+08:00

BLOODY HELL!! My epigastric region hurts. The pain hit me for an hour or less. Crap. The paranoid in me had been thinking of AAA. Hades! I have to hold my breath just to get through it. Gackt. I can't think properly. I don't know what to do. Seek medical help? Ha! Like this is the only pain I've been through yet never saw a doctor.

Alack!

I've been complaining of lightheadedness, chest pain and terrible headache this week. Just yesterday, I had at least 3 hours of headache.

Melancholic

2009-01-31T08:32:00.004+08:00

I feel sad. I feel lonely. I feel alone.
I don't want to say anything more. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do.

Dove siete?

Music: Patty Griffin - Free
Mood: Melancholic
Reading: Special A

Can't seek help..

2009-01-29T23:25:00.003+08:00

Music: Mika Nakashima - Find the Way
Mood: Hungry

This is the problem with me, I don't seek help. I just don't know how. Besides, I don't want to bother other people. I don't want to cause them any trouble, wasting their time.

D is a taboo word.

2009-01-28T14:01:00.002+08:00

I know this feeling. And it's bloody annoying.

Bloody hell. I hate it when I am going through this. It makes me sick, literally. But I am too proud to see a shrink. I really am stupid, especially that I am from a health care profession. The double-H hit me every now and then, especially during the past 24 hours.

What worries me is the possible accomplishment of what statistics says. There is recurrence in what I am going through. ~~And I'm still not seeking help.~~ Oh yeah, shoot me! Damn it.

Upper East Sider

2009-01-16T23:13:00.001+08:00

You Are Upper Class

Class isn't always about money, and you've at least got the brains, manners, and interests of an upper class person.

You don't have a trashy bone in your body, and you don't pretend to be someone you're not.

You're comfortable with your station in life, and class issues don't really bother you.

The finest things in life are within your reach, and you're comfortable enjoying them.

You may end up: A business leader, corporate lawyer, or philanthropist

Other people who share your class: Bill Gates, Oprah, former world leaders like Bill Clinton, and those reclusive billionaires no one ever talks about.

What Class Are You?

W is for Wrath..

2009-01-14T22:31:00.002+08:00

I don't feel all right at this moment. I am upset and yeah, upset. I'm also having some discomforts, physically. It's bloody annoying. I know I don't destroy things when I am angry but the damage is internal. Bloody hell.

Anyways, I have an interview tomorrow at 0900H so I have to retire soon. I believe I really need to rest. I'm too upset.

Music:
Bon Jovi - Bed of Roses

Anger

2009-01-06T01:26:00.001+08:00

Anybody can become angry - that is easy; but to be angry with the right person, and to the right degree, and at the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.
~ARISTOTLE

He who angers you conquers you.
~ELIZABETH KENNY

(Possible) Last Entry for 2008

2008-12-30T23:05:00.002+08:00

For the nth time, I have been disoriented to time/date again. It's bloody annoying. And what's more bloody annoying was being unproductive. It bloody sucks.

It seems that I am not in the mood to write any blog entries so I'll just leave it here. This could even be my last entry for this year.

WELCOME, 2009!!

Ideal Guy? survey

2008-12-19T23:57:00.004+08:00

If I were a guy, I would be GAY.
~Silver Siren

1.Dapat ba maganda?
Magandang lalake, yesh. But not perfect.

2. Matalino?
Doesn't have to be as smart as Isaac Newton, but if he's good in Physics that'd be cool. Street smart, yes, please.

3. Preferred Age?
Older. =)) By one to five years.
^SAME. If same age, at least months older.

4. Preferred Height?
Tall! <3>
^SAME

5. How about sense of humor?
Please!

6. How about piercings?
It's okay...as long as they're not in uh, strange places. XDDDDD
^SAME

7. aUn Un eH
Eh?

8. Mushy or not?
Just enough is enough.

9. Thin or Fat?
Lean!

10. Dimples?
Thank you. =)

11.Morena/o or Chinita/o or Mestisa/o?
Even skin tone. No chinito. Please.

12. Long Hair or Short Hair?
Any, as long as it fits him and he doesn't look like an idiot.
^SAME

13. Plastic or Metal?
His prosthetic leg???
^YES?

14. Smells good?
Of course.

15. Smoker?
Not one, please. As much as possible.

16. Drinker?
At parties, sure. AS LONG AS HE CAN CONTROL IT.
^YES.

17. Boy/girl-next-door type?
NO.

18. Musically inclined?
Love that.

19. Plays Guitar?
That'd be nice. Please. I'd love to be a student. :p

20. Piano?
Sure. =)

21. Plays flute?
A virtuoso? =)

22. Sings very good?
Sings very well.

23. Vain?
Just fine.

24. With Glasses?
Why not. Nerds are sexy. ^_~

25. With Braces?
NO.

26. Shy type?
Assertive, please.

27. From what school?
A good school, with good record. =)

28. Active or Passive?
Assertive.

29. Sporty or kikay?
Into sports in ok.

30. Singer or dancer?
Singer, yes! Dancer? What dance? XD

31. Suplada/suplado?
Suplado looking is ok, but not by heart.

32. Hiphop?
GUSTO MO MAMATAY???
^LIKE NOW?

33. Earrings?
As long as it suits him.

35. Hard to get?
Not to me!
^SAME. XD

36. Mr or ms count-my-ex-till-u-drop?
GO DIE!!

38. Bookworm?
Sure. If he's a Robert Ludlum fan.. <3

39. Mr. love letter?
*agnostic*

40. May goatee?
Amon-like? Sure. As long as he doesn't look like a lion.

41. Flirt?
No. Or better die. Kung s'akin lang, sure! XD

42. Poem writer?
Wag lang sappy.
^SAME.

43. Serious?
Of course.

44. Galante?
Sure. Pero dapat low profile. Hahaha!

45. Campus crush?
NO. AYAW.

45. Painter?
Cool!

46. Religious?
Ayaw.

47. Alaskador?
Not in a mean slash annoying way.

48. Computer games geek? Or internet freak?
OK lang basta hindi niya buhay ang computer. Naman!

49. Speaks 20 languages?
Basta tuturuan niya ako. XD

50. Loyal o faithful?
Both.

Not Yet

2008-12-09T14:52:00.003+08:00

I don't feel good today. I'm not even feeling fine. I know something's wrong. And missing. There's something I really want to do. Woot! Did I just say "really"? OMG. But yes, I want to do that. Too bad I can't and must not. Not yet. I'd be doomed if I do so. And it's driving me nuts. x_x

I've lost access to my other blog, which was the private and most intimate one. I can't remember the e-mail add I used so there's no way to retrieve it. The password doesn't work. So annoying. As of now, I need to keep my logic working, though it always does. Most of the time. That thing that I want to do, I wonder if it'll quench my thirst or satisfy me. But I doubt it, because I know that once I do it I'll ask for more. And that's one of the reasons why I have to wait.

Hair and Face Care

2008-12-03T08:39:00.003+08:00

I've been roaming the net when I got online to get some homemade recipes for hair and face care. Of course I found a good number of recipes but I can't use them all at the same time so I will just post the links here for future reference.

Fat Free Kitchen
Natural Facial Masks for Oily Skin
Make Your Own Homemade Face Mask
Beautiful Skin Blog
Banana Mask for Oily Skin

Music:
Paramore - Pressure

Challenge

2008-12-01T14:02:00.000+08:00

I would like to make the decision now to take a challenge. Yes. I want to take the challenge of self-discipline. And I am writing that here so I'd remember.

After a century of instant gratification,
I found self-discipline… challenging.
Jasper Hale, Eclipse, Chapter 13, p.301

Music:

Vivaldi - La Primavera

The Dawn decision

2008-11-30T04:47:00.005+08:00

I am now making the decision not to make and/or participate in unnecessary Twilight discussions, i.e. annihilate the movie. But for the last time, so far, the movies has flaws but I still love it. I have been ~~too~~ forgiving lately. I guess.

Music:
Music - Supermassive Black Hole

Inspired to cook.

2008-11-28T17:24:00.003+08:00

I was watching the "Villains" episode of Heroes season 3. In one of the scenes, Angela Petrelli was cooking. I got hungry. And of course, I wanted to cook. I want to make some Italian dish.

Twilight is like Pinakbet -- bitter gourd and bagoong and eggplant rolled into one

2008-11-26T14:36:00.004+08:00

Pinakbet is a local dish made of vegetables, bagoong (bah-goh-ong) and animal fat. The authentic Pinakbet does not need to be stirred. And once you closed the lid, there's no way you should open it again except to fish out the dish and serve it.

Like Pinakbet -- bitter gourd and bagoong and eggplant rolled into one. What I am trying to say is that Twilight is a movie with sprinkles of suspense/thriller, comedy, and romance. But I am not a fan of the Bella-Edward romance.

I'd say it's also a family movie. If you've already watched the movie, remember how the Cullens protected Bella? I love what Carlisle said about her. It was sweet.

Twilight is a package. I also love how the beauty of the Olympic Peninsula was featured. Breath-taking.

---

My first review for Twilight is here: 9/10

Music:
Paramore - I Caught Myself

E7 for Twilight's Advance Screening

2008-11-25T10:32:00.003+08:00

I was in The Podium yesterday to buy a ticket for Twilight's advanced screening tonight at 20:30. Wooh! I'm bloody excited. :p

When I got to the counter, I asked how many people had already purchased tickets for the advance screening. They showed my the monitor with lots of red boxes. It meant that a lot of people had already reserved for the "special" event. I just went, "Oh!" because I thought not so many people will watch in The Podium. I was wrong.

They made me choose a seat. It's a reserved seating stuff. I already had a seat number in mind when I left The Podium last Saturday. It was seat #7 but I wasn't so sure which letter. Maybe it was F7.

Anyways, what was left for me was E7. There were other vacant seats but I was too persistent with the #7. Besides, It was amusing though I may not have F7 yet E7 remained free. Was that really for me? Haha!

Music:
The Mitch Hansen Band - Stay With Me

Bloody Pissed

2008-11-24T13:08:00.005+08:00

I made a call to a particular cinema in Ortigas earlier so I can make a reservation for Twilight's advanced screening tomorrow night. Troublesome for a patient person. Quite. Anyways, what pissed me was the reply to my inquiry. I have to purchase the ticket at the counter. Bloody hell. I know being upset was illogical, but I just got upset.

There were other stuff that pissed me today. I just hope I'd do well for the rest of the day.

-=-=-=-

I've been saying profanities lately, and I am not bloody happy about it. I then decided to try the alternatives so I can slowly stop saying bad words. But I've noticed that I say "Bloody" and "Bloody hell" a lot. But to justify myself, that's better than the word/s I used to ejaculate a couple of days ago.

I should really stop this balderdash profanity.

Music:
Paramore - Decode

OCD

2008-11-21T23:22:00.002+08:00

I don't like my OCD. Whatever that means. :p

My obsessions about some things give me anxiety, which is expected but unwelcome. All I want, as of now, is be able to focus at one thing at a time and accomplish every task with efficiency. I have a lot of stuff going on in my mind right now, as always. This means summoning my coping and defense mechanisms, and make sure they keep me in balance.

*sigh*

Bloody Frustration

2008-11-20T18:17:00.004+08:00

Frustrations are bloody annoying. There are a lot of stuff I want to do but some have to wait while others have been missed. It upsets me. Stuff about myself, other people, school, the society, and others are just like missiles hitting me from here and there at the same time.

Btw, tomorrow is the international release of Twilight. Philippines was supposed to be one of the lucky countries to watch the movie first hand tomorrow. Too bad Summit Entertainment couldn't ship the movie earlier for whatever reason.. I really felt bad when I found it out. May there be no bloody piracy for this much awaited movie.

Philippines will have Twilight on the 26th.

I've become more irritated lately. I usually feel that I need to keep moving around and do stuff. "Busy-bisihan." I would love to play the guitar. I mean learn play the guitar. I need more practice.

Ugh!

Music:
Yiruma - River Flows in You

New Blog for 2009

2008-11-19T23:25:00.003+08:00

I've been thinking of making a new cyber "life" when 2009 unfolds. I want to have a new blog and the like. But I want it to be organized and neat. And fun, of course. But I was wondering how would I do that. I need a blog server that can satisfy me.

While making an entry for my school-related blog, I found something interesting. I haven't thoroughly checked it out, though. Maybe later. It's getting late.

Music:
The Mitch Hansen Band - Thorns

Alternative

2008-11-18T18:25:00.003+08:00

I've been thinking lately of starting a little business. Actually I've thought about it for quite some time now. I just want to express my "creativity" yet earn, as much as possible, through it. But more than the business thing, I just want to try being "artistic" and make personalized things. I'm trying to cut down unnecessary expenses, though I don't overindulge, and still avail of the things that I want.

Music:
Paramore - CrushCrushCrush

Unsatisfied

2008-11-17T21:57:00.005+08:00

It's quite annoying that despite being busy the whole day you still feel uneasy because you have missed some of your rituals. Well, that's what I am feeling right now. I feel unsatisfied and incomplete. I don't like it. Besides, I've been under Alice Attack. Read: headache.

If you want to know what happened today, click this.

Music:
Vivaldi - L'Autunno

The FrieDay Entry

2008-11-14T01:26:00.003+08:00

I don't like my blog entry in BlogSpirit today, but I'm leaving it that way. *sigh*

Anyways, I am having a headache right now. R temple. I am still thinking if I should attend/participate in the "social gathering" slash for a good cause event in FullyBooked later tonight. Twilight Coven Philippines is part of this event.

Music:
Hillsong United - Always

Exam Week

2008-11-12T00:07:00.003+08:00

I still haven't made a review for Breaking Dawn. And I still can't make a review this week. It's busy in school, lots of exams. I actually just came back from school -okay, I got back at least half an hour ago- because I attended the FN rationalization of the REGIS. And while I was at it, I was taking exam in PALMAR. Multi-tasking!

And speaking of exam, I had two exams earlier: one in the morning and another in the afternoon, CHN and FN, respectively. Two hundred items each. The PALMAR exam consisted of two hundred and fifty questions. That means I answered a total of 650 questions today. Err.. yesterday. *sigh*

The exams didn't end there. I still have more to answer later. Three subjects I guess. That'd be 300 items in total. Three consecutive days of exams.. I wonder how much more my brain can take. Haha!

Btw, there's a Twilight-related event in FullyBooked on Friday at 1900H. I would like to come, but that means shelling out a hundred bucks. *hides money* Maybe I'll just come in the bookstore, but not participate in the event. Oh well, let's see.. XD

I have to sleep now. I need my rest. I need lots of it.

Music: Bella's Lullaby

7 Days Post Delta

2008-11-08T09:10:00.004+08:00

Seven days ago, I changed my layout into this: -=view=- And just a couple of minutes ago, I have this: -=peek=- I decided to do so because I was quite uncomfortable with the previous layout about some stuff..

I still have to improve the contents, but not now. I'm still not sure what to add or what.

Music: The Mitch Hansen Band - Thorns
Food: Pancake
Drink: H2O

New Layout?

2008-11-05T23:10:00.002+08:00

I'm thinking of changing this blog's layout. I'm having a hard time reading my entries, plus I can't see the title of each entry. I don't like it. But I am not going to do it tonight. Sometime this week or next week. That can wait anyway.

Music:
The Mitch Hansen Band - Lullaby

BlogSpirit

2008-11-01T22:30:00.003+08:00

I am quite excited for tomorrow. Leaving the house for whatever ~~common reason~~ is not part of it. It's simply because I can make a new blog entry in my BlogSpirit account. I feel like that blog of mine is quite full or bombarded. I prefer things simple. I can make a new entry right now but I've always tried to make sure that I only post one entry per day. In that way, I can keep my blog neat and I won't be having troubles with date-permalinks or the like.

Music:
Paramore - CrushCrushCrush

New Layout

2008-10-31T22:39:00.002+08:00

I've finally changed my blog layout! It's nice to see that my blog has a new look. It's different from what I used to have during the past four years. I do like this style, but there are other styles that I like too. I might change my layout every month. Yeah, I'm probably gonna do that.

It's too bad though that I don't know how to bring out the tags in my blog. Maybe next month, or whenever.. Heehee

Music:
Freckles (Sobakasu)

Moleskine contest

2008-10-29T09:04:00.005+08:00

I want to try the Moleskine contest. Contests. But I'm quite preoccupied with other things right now so I'll just let procrastination get in the way. But of course, it has to be controlled. As of now, I'll just leave the links for the contest, as well as my "proposed" entry. Thou shalt not steal!

http://maydiwayata.multiply.com/journal/item/47/what_would_you_write_in_your_moleskin

http://anothermiyaw.livejournal.com/146627.html#cutid1

http://wifelysteps.com/2008/10/13/bibingka-souffle-bliss/
I've been to this blog before, but I can't remember what I checked there. What I do know is that it was informative. Anyway, this link is for the Bibingka entry. I love Bibingkas.

It is a great pleasure and delight to hang out in bookstores without the pressure to buy anything, but simply looking for newly released books as well as those printed as long as publishing history allowed.

BlogSpot

2008-10-21T14:25:00.002+08:00

Something is wrong with this blog, but I don't know how to fix it. I'm still thinking if I should change the layout. It may take a while, though. I'm not in the mood to look for stuff for this blog. Besides, I don't speak HTML nor Java Script. I may understand few HTML, but they're too basic and unnecessary for a blog layout.

Music:
Vivaldi - L'Autonno

Sun Break effect

2008-10-16T00:00:00.003+08:00

For two consecutive days, I've been to a place where I saw someone I've always wanted to see. I always treasure such encounters. And just this morning, I had more. I was able to sit beside it. Haha!

I'm leaving for Olongapo tomorrow but I'm going to OsMak first. I hope and pray that everything about OsMak will be settled when I return there tomorrow. Amen.

Music:
Sixpence None the Richer - Brighten My Heart

Preoccupations

2008-10-12T22:29:00.002+08:00

I've been excited today about something. I'm excited about an anticipated meeting, which I know not when to happen. LOL. But I am definitely looking forward to it. This is some kind of a preoccupation. Haha!

Also, I've been thinking a lot of having a personalized shirt. I'm deliberating between black and white, but I might go for white. I need to save up for this. I hope I can make it. =)

Music:
The Mitch Hansen Band - Lullaby

Wake me up..

2008-10-10T12:54:00.003+08:00

I'm not feeling well lately albeit showing no signs of being one. But a clinical eye and observant attitude will reveal more.

This reminds me of Jasper Hale. I'm a big fan of Alice and Jasper, but this is no obsession. Jasper's just the first character that came into my mind, for comparison purposes. What he felt before he met Alice.. stuff like that.

Like him, it may take time before I'll "feel" that way. I'm not referring to their romance; it's something else. Something that's bothering me.

Music:
The Mitch Hansen Band - Sun's Lament

Breaking Dawn impatience

2008-10-07T19:42:00.002+08:00

Shoot! If this keeps going, I'm definitely going to buy Breaking Dawn myself. I need to save some bloody money!! *plans for starvation diet*

I can't wait 'til I get my hand on the book. I can't get enough of Bella, Edward, Alice and Jasper! *fangirl mode*

Yeah..

2008-10-05T16:44:00.000+08:00

Free-IQTest.net - Quick IQ Test

Am-I-Dumb.com - How Smart Are You?

HumanForSale.com - Fun Quizzes

CM

2008-10-02T21:23:00.000+08:00

For a coping mechanism, I'm pretty destructive.
Mi salvi!

Hot and Cold

2008-09-30T15:33:00.002+08:00

It's been really hot lately and I've just become more convinced to make sure that I'll be able to carry out my plan. Two more years..

Yeah..

2008-09-24T09:30:00.000+08:00

No comment.

Walls of Jericho

2008-09-12T15:58:00.002+08:00

I hardly get surprised so what I've discovered or found out recently wasn't too much of a big blow to me. But I must admit that I am worried, for two reasons. One, I know that if "this" continues more damages will pile up and might destroy everything. Two, I still remain as the ever passive person. It's like I am numb. My face may betray the emotions I try so hard to conceal but I'd say like a lethargic person, I make no move. Balderdash.

Think of a fortress with walls shattered. Okay, not every wall may be considered as rubble but most of them already have cracks that may collapse any time soon. I am like that.

Every aspect of myself is broken, damaged. I know I need help, but I don't know how to start. Worse, I don't know whom to run.

Music:
Three Days Grace - Pain

There it goes..

2008-09-05T13:14:00.002+08:00

I don't want to show up to some people in the coming days. I don't feel okay. I wish I could just run away. Here I go again, trying to run away. -_- I just want to disappear. I want to be away.

I can dive with sharks, but I can't swim.

I can only take this much. I'm tired of keeping my high walls. I can't cry hard enough..

Online Bum

2008-08-28T11:41:00.004+08:00

I now know how to spend my bum days online. But of course, I still need to make a good plan.

First, I have to check the world through The New York Times. I'd stick to this paper because it'll just be troublesome to read this and that. But I might as well check other papers not excluding local ones. But I only prefer to read The Philippine Daily Inquirer.

It's almost impossible for me to go online and never check at least one of my blogs so it's given that I'd be checking my blogs. I usually check http://parasui.blogspirit.com, which also happened to be my favourite blog.

Next is watching TV series. As of this season, my priorities are CSI: NY, Gossip Girl and G1 Transformers. But I'll start watching G1 next week. I have to make it a point that I only spend an hour or one episode with each TV series.

And the most important of all- study. I must learn something new and update what I already know. Or I must at least refresh my knowledge.

Music: Chris Tomlin - Indescribable

Cover-Up

2008-08-20T03:39:00.001+08:00

Which CSI Character Are You?

Created by BuddyTV

Which Grey's Anatomy Character Are You?

Created by BuddyTV

I Miss You

2008-07-21T09:25:00.003+08:00

I miss you.
So much.

Purple Heart

2008-05-23T21:06:00.002+08:00

I am still amazed with God's greatness. He's been really generous to me; to give me a heart that I now have is so overwhelming. I feel blessed. Thank You, Lord.

So amazing, as You paint the sky.
So amazing, makes me wonder why..

You love me like You do.
Yes, You love me like You do.
So amazing, so amazing..

Natutuwa talaga ako at humahanga. Humahanga ako sa puso ko, ang tibay. *nurse mode* But I don't have strength on my own. It all comes from God. Praise your name, Jesus!

music:
Hillsong United - All for Love

Talk to whom?

2008-05-12T00:33:00.003+08:00

You are hurt.
But you haven't shed a tear.
How long will you stay that way?
Until when will you keep the burden inside?

You may not know what lies ahead
Or what could've happened
But you owe yourself
Save it from agony.

Music in My Life

2008-05-10T10:35:00.002+08:00

It was last night when I figured out my recent means of unloading what I’ve been feeling inside. It’s like a turbulence caused by a storm. Not that I’m emotionally shattered or the like. Say it’s like a reaction formation. I’m not really in the mood to explain so I’ll just keep going.

I’ve been listening to different artists and bands lately. It’s my way of telling my immediate circle what I feel. I think people need a reminder of what they are going through, somehow. They want to hear or see what they could hardly express.

I have heard of Yellowcard before, but I didn’t pay any attention to it until the night of Wednesday, 07 May 2008. My friends played Only One during our surprise for my cousin’s 18^th birthday. The next day, I’ve been listening a lot to it. And I still do.

Exploring different artists and bands was nice because it exposed me to different styles, music and art. It was actually fun. And it saved me from trouble figuring out how to put into words what I feel inside. I don’t want to blog out the gravity of what I am going through. My unconscious mind is making things lighter than they actually are. Too bad I am in the health care profession so I was able to figure out that my physical complaints are somehow related to my emotional health. I can’t contribute everything to it though because I’ve been really toxic lately. But the reaction formation thingy, I have no doubt for that.

I’ve been listening to songs that I can somehow relate to. There were those that are familiar, which I have heard even when I was still a little kid (e.g. Guns n’ Roses, Bryan Adams) and there were those that I just clicked and tried.

It’s fun. But it’d me much better if I really get over this.

I keep hurting inside, hurting inside
With nowhere to run…

Now playing:
Take That - Patience

Agoni

2008-05-02T07:57:00.004+08:00

Shugudeng! Wala ako sa mood na mag-kwento pero gusto ko mag-update ng blog. Ang dami kong gustong gawin pero may mga limitation at delimitation ako. Buti na lang walang exam next week. Pero may kailangan akong ipasa bukas. Anak ng tipaklong hindi ko nga alam ang hinihingi s'akin eh. Sana may makuha akong cue ngayon pagpunta ko sa school.

Gusto ko rin mag-aral ng drums. Nag-aaral naman ako eh pero gusto ko tuloy-tuloy. Pero hindi formal lesson 'yun. Gusto ko na rin mag-aral mag-gitara. Para masaya. xp

Hindi pa rin ako nakaka-get over sa sitwasyon ko. Sumasakit pa rin. Sana lang mawala na agad 'to. Nakakainis. Nakakaloko talaga ang pag-ikot ng mga bagay-bagay. Pero kailangan magpatawad. Kapag humilom na ang mga sugat at nakapag-isip na ako nang maayos, saka na ako tatalikod at lilimot.

Pero nakakatawa lang kasi mag-iisang taon na pero hindi pa rin nawawala. At ngayon naman ay nasasaktan. Sabi nga nila, kung hindi ka nasasaktan hindi ka.. Alam n'yo na 'yun. XD

Parang ang sarap kantahin ng Do I Have to Say the Words ni Bryan Adams. Haha! Pero siyempre, hindi ko pa rin nakakalimutan ang sinabi ko kay Lord. Kaya nga gusto ko na makalimot agad eh. Grabe, mag-iisang taon na. Sa iba naman, kahit wala pang tatlong buwan ay ok na. Pero iba 'to eh. Nakakatawa na nakakainis.

Hanggang ngayon ay tinatakbuhan ko pa rin ang sakit. (._. )

now playing:
Do'Ahou - To Be With You

Staying sane while waiting for freedom

2008-04-30T10:21:00.003+08:00

I wonder what would've happened to me if I don't know God. If God is not in my life, I'd be a total wrecked and crushed person. I might even be an absolute damage.

A friend of mine told me to surrender my concern to God like what a friend of ours did. Yes, I've been surrendering it. I just don't know if I have really done so, completely. He doesn't know the situation I am in so he doesn't understand how I surrender this concern. It's ok though. I'm doing better than before.

Another friend of mine told me to just confess. The heck. I think I'd rather die. LOL. Kidding, mehn! I believe I don't mind confession stuff. I just want to be sure that if I do, it's already over. Or if there's a place where I can run to and hide myself, I might do so. But then if that's what I have in mind, what is the point of confessing? Some things are just worth keeping, even 'til the grave.

With all these stuff I am going through, I wonder what will become of me in the future. I hope it will help me become a better person each day and will equip me in my profession-to-be. And I pray that this experience has brought me knowledge, wisdom and understanding.

I am looking forward to the day when I will be given with an offer I can never refuse; on the day I am free to give what I've always wanted to give.

humming:
The Corrs - All the Love in the World

I want to see YOU face to face..

2008-04-29T05:36:00.001+08:00

I sometimes want to see God (face to face) and ask Him some personal questions. I want to know what He wants me to learn. I want to know how to let go of some things in life. I know I told God that I won't ask of Him a particular thing. I gave it up weeks ago. It still hurts. It'd be a lie if I say it doesn't hurt. I may not feel the pain in my heart, but it hurts somewhere else. I am fine with that. Heart-san has been hurt a lot and I don't want him to take any more pain. It's not healthy for him.

I've always wanted to have something to make me forget it. But it's not easy. I even sometimes feel that something's getting stronger. Too bad, I can't express enough so I have to show it somewhere else. I am actually trying to think of a proper term for it. It is either sublimation or displacement without the negative attribute.

There's a movie that I want to watch because I'm intrigued with the plot. I hope I can watch it. But more than that, I really want to get over some things I am having a hard time forgetting. Losh. I know I am a forgetful person, but there are just some things that I could hardly forget no matter what I do.

Father in heaven, if it is Your will, I want to see Core soon. If it pleases You, please allow me to be with him. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

now playing:

OLIVIA - If You Only Knew

Emotional pain in my throat.

2008-04-27T06:31:00.003+08:00

Wilson was right. Emotional pain sometimes manifests through physical pain. It sucks. I had DOB and hyperventilation because of that thing. The initial reaction was a little spasm in my throat. It sucks!!

I never thought I'd still have a reaction about some things. Dad, I need you. T_T

now playing:
Cocco - Jukai no Ito

Upset.. Frittata.. Dishes.. Dutch

2008-04-19T03:36:00.004+08:00

Oh my Gackt. I made it here with just one try! *happy*

I usually have to check my e-mail ~~and change settings~~ just to get into this blog. But this time, I got it right with just one shot. Kewlness!

I really haven't updated in this blog because of username and password problems. And I bloody hate it.

There are lots of things lurking in my mind right now. I'm supposed to be sleeping right now because I have class later at 7 in the morning. Not that I'm miss being online, but I am so upset I feel the need to vent out in my blog. Blogs, actually. I hate it. I'm really upset with a friend of mine.

Enough of that crap.

I want to cook. I did cook for my dinner last night. I made a Pechay Frittata. It wasn't good enough and I still have to practice. By the way, Frittata is an Italian omelette. I have known such dish because of Lifestyle Network. I love that channel.

I know I won't learn to make any Filipino dishes any time soon so I'm going overseas and look for easy dishes. I'm going to try a Dutch dish one of these days. *excited*

Hillsong - Saving Grace

2008-02-27T10:13:00.001+08:00

SAVING GRACE

Verse 1
Night and day I seek Your face
Long for You in the secret place
All I want in this life
Is to truly know you more...

Verse 2
As the waters cover the sea,
So Your love covers me
Guiding me on,
Roads unkown
I trust in You alone (2x)

CHORUS
My Saving Grace
My endless love
Deeper and deeper I'm falling in love with You
My one desire
My only truth
Deeper and deeper I'm falling in love with you

Verse 2
CHORUS

with you..
fallin' in love with you...
ohhhhh...

BRIDGE
And I will rise on wings of eagles
Soaring high above all my fears
I rest in Your open arms of love

CHORUS (2x)

As the waters cover the sea
So your love covers me....
covers me...

from Beto

2007-08-31T12:15:00.000+08:00

I hate it when I have to post here. Because everytime I do, I have to recover my password. Bloody. -_-

Anyway, I just want to post some tsurbeis here. =p

~ ~ ~

1.Are u photogenic ?
* I can be one.

2. What time do you go to bed ?
* Anytime. XD

3. What was the last thing you did before this ?
* Talked to my royal son. Chat actually.

4. Whos the one you always meet the most ?
* College mates.

5. Who's the person youll call if you need help?
* Depends. Financial, tita. Personal, my royal son. And some metahumans. Well, I usually call God so I rarely call people.

6. Whats on your mind right now ?
* My back hurts.

7. What do you prefer?american idol/malaysian idol ?
* Neither.

8. With whom do you wanna be with to have fun ?
* Family, metahumans, SERG..

9. What movie do u wanna watch now?
* Becoming Jane, No Reservations, Stardust.

10. When was the last time you went out ?
* Last Sunday, with metahumans. ^_^

11. What do you hate the most for now ?
* Deadlines.

12. What do you do everyday besides eat & sleep?
* Breathe, Observe...

13. Colors that make you happy?
* Blue, Green

14. Most fave thing in your room ?
*Bed

15. Miss someone?
* Yes.

16. Plan to buy something?
* Yes

17. Are you satisfied with your life now?
* Seeking for more.

18. Do you like seafood?
* I do!

19.Breakfast or dinner?
* Both!

20. Do you recycle?
* Sometimes to rarely.

21. Do you have a laptop?
* I don't. =(

22. Whats your favorite fast food?
* BFC. KFC, I mean. XD

23. Cats or dogs?
* Cats

24. Salty or sweet?
* Salty

25. City or country?
* Country.

26. Is kissing normal for your age?
* Define normal.

27. Are you athletic?
* Am not.

28.Would you want to be treated equally?
* Who doesn't?

29. Do you have your own cell phone?
* Yes.

30. What do you wear to bed?
* ANything comfy.

31. Ever had a crush on a teacher in high school?
* Nah.

32. Coke or pepsi?
* Neither

33. sugar or spice?
* A little of both.

34. Do you like to read for pleasure?
* Super!

35. Do you care about getting good grades?
* I care about learning.

36. Have you ever fallen asleep in class?
* Many times.

37. Get a job or ask your parents for money?
* Get a job.

38. Is your dad strict?
* Ish not.

39. Do your parents give you enough privacy?
* Yes.

40. Do your parents trust you?
* I believe so.

41. Would you ever wanna lose your best friends?
* No.

42. Does your best friend get on your nerves?
* Who ish my best friend, anyway? Pikachu, can you be my best friend?

43. Do you make friends quickly?
* I don't know.

44. Do you tell your mom everything?
* I don't.

45. What do you & your parents fight about most?
* None.

46. If u love someone & she/he rejected u what will u do to her/him?
* No problem. It's his lost. XD

47. Can u sing or rap?
* Listen. XD

48. If u have one wish , who would u make ur wife/husband for the wish?
* Hmm...

Yeah, shoot me.

2007-08-23T11:42:00.000+08:00

A - Are you available?
> For what?

What is your age?
> at least 18

B - Do you know anyone named Brian?
> I do.

When is your birthday?
> months from now

C - What's your favorite candy?
> Fox's

What kind of car do you drive?:
> I don't drive.

D - Do you daydream?
> A lot.

What's your favorite kind of dog:
> Ping, Pong, Cotton, and Candy. Our Japanese Spitz

E - How do you like your eggs?
> Boiled

Have you ever been in the emergency
room?
> Yes.

Ever pet an elephant?
> Nope

F - Do you use a fly swatter?
> Nope.

Is there a fan in your room?
> None

G - Do you chew gum?
> I don't.

Do you like gummy candies?
> I don't.

H - How are you?
> Vital signs are stable..

What color is your hair:
> Dark brown

I - What's your favorite ice cream?
> Avocado, Ube, Coffee Crumble

Have you ever ice skated?
> Have not.

Ever been in an igloo?
> Have not.

J - Do you wear jewelry
> I don't.

K - Who do you want to kill?
> AFA.

Have you ever flown a kite?
> Yes

L - Lions or tigers?
> Tigers

M - Favorite stores at the mall?
> Bookstores

Favorite movie?
> The Godfather

N - Do you have a nickname?
> I do.

Do you prefer night or day?
> Night. And day for sleep.

O - Are you an only child?
> Am not.

Do you like the color orange.?
> I don't.

P - Do you know anyone named Penelope?:
> I don't.

Are you quick to judge people?
> I'm just critical..

R - Do you think you're always right?
> It's good to know that I am not always right. Believe me.

Do you watch reality TV?
> Nope

S - Do you prefer sun or rain?
> Rain.

Do you like snow?
> ...

T - What time is it?
> 11:30 AM

What time did you wake up?
> Past 5 in the morning. Yeah, somebody shoot me.

U - Can you ride a unicycle?
> I can't.

Do you know anyone with a unibrow?
> I don't.

V - Did you ever watch Veggie tales?
> The Veggie Bible tales? Yes.

W - What's your worst habit?
> I am not confessing it.

What do you want right now?:
> Sleep.

X - Have you ever had an x-ray?
> Yes. Every year.

Ever used a Xerox machine?:
> Yes.

Y - Do you like the color yellow?
> NO. Reminds me of infectious things.

Do you yell when you're angry?
> I don't.

Z - Do you believe in the zodiac?
> I don't.

losin'

2007-08-23T09:08:00.000+08:00

RULES:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds!

♥ If someone says "is this okay" you say?
A Little Pain - OLIVIA
[Emo?]

♥ What would best describe your personality?
Precious - Yuna Ito
[teehee..]

♥ What do you like in a guy/girl?
Stars Shining Out - OLIVIA
[Someone famous? Some hawt guy? XD]

♥ How do you feel today?
Color of Your Spoon - OLIVIA
[O_o]

♥ What is your life's purpose?
Stay for Love - Yuna Ito
[Haha!]

♥ What is your motto?
Tiger in My Love - Chihiro Onitsuka
[Quite makes sense.]

♥ What do your friends think of you?
Wish - OLIVIA
[Wooh...]

♥ What do you think of your parents?
Dear Angel - OLIVIA
[Sweet!]

♥ What do you think about very often?
Heaven on Earth - Mika Nakashima
[Haha!]

♥ What do you think of your bestie?
Escape the Flames - OLIVIA
[I don't really have an official best friend, but I can consider someone as one. And that person is hot-tempered. The song fits him.]

♥ What do you think of the person you like?
Dress Me Up - OLIVIA
[Haha! This is kinky. XD ]

♥ What is your life story?
Castle Imitation - Chihiro Onitsuka
[Fairy tale? Haha!]

♥ What do you want to be when you grow up?
Borderline - Onitsuka Chihro
[Oh, Father in heaven! Please don't.]

♥ What do you think when you see the person you like?
Faith - Yuna Ito
[In a way, yes. And yes.]

♥ What do your parents think of you?
Angel - Core of Soul
[It's the same song I had when I last did this game. Kewl!]

♥ What will you dance to at your wedding?
Natural Beauty - Core of Soul
[Naisu.]

♥ What will they play at your funeral?
King of Solitude - Chihiro Onitsuka
[Pwede!]

♥ What is your hobby/interest?
Kujira - Core of Soul
[I don't know what that means.]

♥ What is your biggest fear?
Mint - OLIVIA
[Eh?]

♥ What is your biggest secret?
Not Your God - Chihiro Onitsuka
[Yes, I am not your God. I have to keep some secret.]

♥ What song will be the subject when you repost?
Resistance - Mika Nakashima
[Yeah. XD ]

Tadaima?

2007-08-22T17:41:00.000+08:00

I am back! Bwahahaha!!!

~ ~ ~

Take this fun survey filled with crazy random questions.

Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet?
~ None

How do you flush the toilet in public?
~ With a tissue or with my foot.

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
~ I do.

Do you have a crush on someone?
~ *takes list*

Name one thing you worry about running out of.
~ Running out of breath.

What famous person do you (or other people) think you resemble?
~ Mommy Esh said Cocco.

What is your favorite pizza topping?
~ Mushroom and pineapple.

Do you crack your knuckles?
~ No

What song do you hate the most?
~ *shrugs*

What are your super powers?
~ Teh power bestowed upon me....! =D

Peppermint or spearmint?
~ Peppermint

Where are your car keys?
~ I have none.

Whose answers to this questionnaire do you want to hear?
~ Doesn't matter.

What's your most annoying habit?
~ Procrastination

Where did you last go on vacation?
~ Davao

What is your best physical feature?
~ I don't know.

What CD is closest to you right now?
~ Blank CD

What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator?
~ Meat, veggies, sandwich spreads

What superstition do you believe/practice?
~ None

What color are your bed sheets?
~ Green

Would you rather be a fish or a bird?
~ Bird.

Do you talk on your cell phone when you drive?
~ I don't drive.

What are your favorite sayings?
~ Carpe diem!
~ Dwell on the past, you lose one eye; Forget the past, you lose both eyes. - Russian Proverb
and more

What song(s) do you sing most often in the shower?
~ Praise songs

If you could go back or forward in time,where would you go?
~ . . .

What is your favorite Harrison Ford movie?
~I don't know.

What CD is in your stereo?
~ I don't know.

What CD will be in your stereo in a few minutes?
~ None

How many kids do you plan on having?
~ 2-4. Haha!

If you could kiss anyone who would it be?
~ Vicodin

What do you do when no one is watching?
~ Sleep

If they made a movie about your life, what actor/actress would be you?
~ I'm not sure. Sheara Zette Lynn Aquino, I guess.

Would you rather die in a blaze of glory or peacefully in your sleep?
~ Peacefully in sleep after eating my great grandfather's ice cream. XD

Coffee or Tea
~ Green tea

Favorite musician(s)/bands you've seen in concert?
~ Don Moen. =D

Have you ever been in love?
~ Where is that?

Do you talk to yourself?
~ Haha!

Back!

2007-06-29T02:50:00.000+08:00

It's nice to be back. Got another place to rant. Haha! Napaka-roller coaster ng mga araw ko lately. Lagi naman eh.

Anyway, sarbey muna...

1.ARE YOU OVER 18?
- for two years already

2. WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR CELLPHONE?
- Neko-chan

3. DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST NIGHT?
- Hindi pa ako natutulog.

4. FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS MORNING WHEN YOU WOKE UP?
- Ano kayang iisipin ko?

5.WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON UR BED?
- Pillow

6. EVER TRIED TO SKIP MEALS?
- A lot.

7.GRILLED OR FRIED?
- Grilled

8. WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE?
- I am me.

9. ARE YOU afraid of the dark?
- No

10. FAVORITE MOVIE/S? -
- The Godfather

11. 5 THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT?
- Basic needs, a living body, money, books, pens

12. FIRST THING YOU WILL BUY IF GIVEN 1 THOUSAND DOLLARS?
- Laptop or Nintendo DS

13. FAVORITE SONG WHEN U R SLEEPY?
- Wala na akong time para mag-isip pa niyan.

14. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
- Secret.

15. ARE YOU A GIVER OR TAKER?
- Giver

16. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
- Jen, Shinrai

17. WHAT IS YOUR MOM'S MIDDLE inital?
- M.

18. RECENT MOVIE THAT YOU WATCHED?
- Harmful Insect

19. IF YOU WERE INVISIBLE FOR A DAY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
- Punta sa Japan. Bwahahaha!

20. STUCK ON A DESERT ISLAND & COULD HAVE ONLY ONE KIND OF FOOD FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
- Pansit-Malabon na lang

21. FAVORITE T.V. COMMERCIAL?
- Bioflu featuring a father taking care of his son

22. HOW LONG HAVE YOU LIKED HER/HIM??
- Sino?

23. THINGS YOU'LL SAVE IN A FIRE? -
- Legal documents, books... Siyempre katawan ko.

24. YOUR EYE COLOR?
- Black

25. WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ALWAYS BRING?
- Cellphone, my brain

26. WHO'S ON UR MIND RYT NOW?
- Myself

27. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO WHEN THE CLOCK TURNS 10:00 am?
- Depends what day that is.

28. THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEET?
- Red

29. WHO DO U WANT TO MEET?
- Adolf Hitler

30. HOW'S LIFE TODAY?
- bloody

Troublesome

2007-03-10T09:37:00.000+08:00

People are such a troublesome. But then, I can't just get upset so easily. God has always been patient with me. But when will people grow up? Oh my Gackt. I'm really pissed today.

Music:
OLIVIA - Wish

sigh

2007-03-07T08:22:00.000+08:00

I am not in good terms with school nowadays. Don't ask. *sigh*

I have a Dream.

2007-02-26T23:10:00.000+08:00

I have a dream.

I have a dream I want to keep burning inside. I may be not yet equipped to achieved it, but I will wait. Someday, I'll have that dream realized. I'll hold on to my dream and faith in myself.

Music:
Mika Nakashima - Will

Dang!

2007-02-19T03:20:00.000+08:00

Comment:

*drools*

Pang...

2007-01-31T21:43:00.000+08:00

It was yesterday, or days earlier, when I felt a pang of emptiness. For a moment, I've come to need to be with people. I know that "No man is an island" saying is true. There's no denying to that. But I prefer social isolation.

I am damaged. *lol*

Miserable

2006-12-20T13:57:00.000+08:00

I'm having a hard time thinking of what to do. Yeah, first things first. But I'm not talking about such thing. It's... personal. To go or not to go? My hypothalamus says go and leave. But my frontal lobe says otherwise. It seems like these two organs have switched their functions. How uncanny!

Why leave?
*I want to have a life.
*I want to start over again.
*I don't want to take burden/s with me. (Talking about hurt feelings here.)

Sounds like I've just had a break up or about to have one.

Why not leave?
*There's no one to watch out..
*Sadness might come any time..
*It's mean to do so. I can't stand to leave a friend.

I look like Allison Cameron.

I guess I'll just hang around for the mean time. "We're colleagues." Foreman. I guess I can stand that. Maybe I'm just hurt. Like what I say to my friend, "Never decide at night." It's an Arab proverb.

Shagadelic. I'm miserable.

If it wasn't for what happened recently, I'd say I regret knowing this friend. Hey, I'm still a friend. Nothing changes. It just seems to be one-sided friendship. Doesn't actually matter to me. But it makes me feel say, "Hey! You've got a friend here. You need help? I'm here."

Music:
Nakashima Mika - Ai Shiteru

Skepticism and Exodus

2006-12-14T14:50:00.000+08:00

I am thankful to God for my skepticism. I don't believe everything, but that doesn't mean I'm ignoring it. I'm just placing it somewhere in my mind. So whatever the results may be I won't be surprised. I've already prepared myself.

~ ~ ~

On the other hand, I'm still thinking about something... I believe I have to settle things soon. And I've got to do it logically.

It's not difficult. But it's painful. It's painful because we know the answer. -Grey's Anatomy

I think I do know the answer. I'm not just facing it. State of denial? ~_~

I can go on my own. But that may mean leaving you behind. And I hate leaving people behind. Tell me to stay and I will.

Music:
Nakashima Mika - Sakurairo Maukoro

Sing

2006-12-11T22:17:00.000+08:00

I feel sad. I don't know how to sing correctly. Or so I thought.

I'm not sure if it's true, but a friend of mine said, "Maganda naman boses mo eh."
My English teacher in sixth grade told me to join the school choir kasi ang cute daw ng boses ko.
And I remember Ate Lei way back when I was still in my fifth or sixth grade. She told me to join the Rev 5. I just smiled.

They were really expecting me to sing? O_o

I can write a song, yes. But I know NO instrument. I can't even trust my own voice. I'm lost. I've lost a lot of chances... It may be true, but I'll never let such thing happen again. I'm not referring to myself, but for --. Yeah.

Being a composer would be enough for me.. But it's sad. Well, I still have years to live. I'll do everything I can to learn even just one instrument. God, help me do so. I'll make You not just one wonderful song; I'll always make songs for You.

While I could only sing for myself and God, I'll keep the hope, faith and love alive. There's always the loo. I can sing there by all means, unreserved! ^_~

Hidden Desire

2006-12-06T02:00:00.000+08:00

One of the things I fear in life is losing love. Not for me. But for other people. There's someone special to me and I am afraid that the day will come when I wake up and find out I no longer "love" this person. I will not lose the love for friendship and the like, but the compassion and deep feeling... I don't want to lose it. Not yet. I don't want to leave him "unloved". I've shed enough salty dews for him. I don't want him to be alone.

Music:
L'Arc~en~Ciel - Heaven's Drive

Off to Dreamland

2006-12-03T22:43:00.000+08:00

What Personality Do You Have?

Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.

Music: Ueto Aya - Name of Love

Oblivious

2006-11-30T18:58:00.000+08:00

OBLIVIOUS
~JenShinrai

You think I like you?
What made you think so?
You think I fancy you?
What's on your mind, you say so?

Sitting alone, oblivious
Don't bother me, go with your life
You can talk to me, say anything
But I hope you hear what I say

Aching, aching... non-stop aching
My heart is crushed
I blame you not
For you know nothing

You are special
I am not. Hello!
Sitting here all alone
I look at you, watch your back

Standing there, oblivious
You look around searching around
You never noticed me, blinded so
Just hoping I'd see you that way

Aching, aching... non-stop aching
My heart is crushed
I blame you not
For you know nothing

Can we turn back time?
Go back to yesterday
I miss you, I miss you
I am thinking of you

Aching, aching... non-stop aching
My heart is crushed
I blame you not
For you know nothing

Aching, aching... non-stop aching
My heart is crushed
I blame you not
For you know nothing

You are oblivious, I am oblivious
We're square, perfect pair
We never knew we love each other
Why not take fear away?

30 November 2006

Pain

2006-11-28T02:48:00.000+08:00

Ouch!

It really hurts. My head, my back... Aray ko!

Soul Searching

2006-11-21T08:42:00.000+08:00

I am wondering if there's at least one person, just one person, who can tell, "Shinrai, I can see (a part) your soul." It doesn't have to be "everything" about me. But just something that others don't see or know, something unique in me that only that person (or few) knows.

Someone used to tell me that she can tell if I'm upset. She could see it in my "expressive eyes". I was surprised and happy at the same time as she told me that. I miss her.

I would also love to know that someone knows what I am saying even if I don't open my mouth. Unspoken conversation. Isn't that nice?

I forgot who said this, "Do unto others what you want others do unto you." Of course, I've got to give my share. There are people I "know" whom others don't. I mean to say I know a part of that person's soul, which other people overlooked or perhaps no knowledge about. It's not secrets. I think that person don't even know this thing about himself. And there are more...

Music:
HYDE - Angel's Tale

Egyptian Zodiac Sign

2006-11-20T10:44:00.000+08:00

Isis

Honorable, straightforward and idealistic. Active and self-confident.

Colors: male: white, female: blue
Compatible Signs: Osiris, Thoth
Dates: Mar 11 - Mar 31, Oct 18 - Oct 29, Dec 19 - Dec 31

Role: Goddess of motherhood, women, and magic; goddess of the South; protector of Imseti (the son of Horus who watched over the canopic jar containing the liver)
Appearance: Woman wearing the hieroglyph for "throne" on her head

What is Your Egyptian Zodiac Sign?
Designed by CyberWarlock of Warlock's Quizzles and Quandaries

Music:
L'Arc~en~Ciel - AWAKE - Lost Heaven

Wakarimasen

2006-11-19T18:44:00.000+08:00

A friend of mine sent me two text messages, quotes to be exact. I could hardly understand what those words mean. I'm not talking literal; it's the implied meaning. I can't understand it. I even wonder what's the purpose of those quotes. What made him think to send me those.. What have I done.. Wakaranai.

But I'll still remember them. Maybe in the days to come I'll be able to make use of those quotes. There will always be tomorrow anyway.

Music:
Gackt & HYDE - Orenji no Taiyou